30 is the new 40 — The Social Experience
This past weekend I attended two birthday parties. Both ladies were celebrating 30 and 30ish and both in very different ways. The first party we attended was on Saturday night at a small trendy bar on the lower east side. The place was like rush hour on the subway with cocktails and a DJ and red lighting. Getting to the bar was like fighting your way through quicksand and getting back to our previous spot in the crowd with cocktails in hand was like fighting your way through quicksand while trying not to spill your cosmopolitan down the front of your shirt. Which I did, twice.
A collect few of us had decided that the scene just wasn't for us and high tailed it out of there after only an hour, making our way to a wonderfully grimy, dark, quiet, and less crowded bar a few blocks away. I continued to consume cosmopolitans at an impressive rate and though I think what we all talked about was interesting, for the life of me I can't recall what it was. I know there was discussion of the mating ritual of whales involved but I think that was earlier in the night.
Sunday then became 'hangover day' and my entire morning/early afternoon was dedicated to not throwing up. Feeling better around 2 O'Clock Adam and I made our way to the second installment of birthday celebrating and this time it was in the form of brunch at an apartment in Queens. There was about 15 of us there, tons of amazing brunch-type food that I completely gorged myself on, and wonderful pockets of conversations happening in all different areas of the apartment. Despite still feeling out of sorts, it was a great way to spend a hangover day, with heavy greasy food and quiet conversations and some sort of orange slush stuff that was delicious.
One detail that ran consistently through both of these parties was a topic of conversation that revolved around age. Or rather, getting older. At the first party I overheard a few lady friends of mine yelling over the very loud music something to the effect of, "I'm too old for this shit". No doubt in reference to the intense crowd, volume of music, and probably lack of seating. At the second party I sat near a group of women who discussed how they were also too old for certain things. Going to bars, for instance, that only had unisex bathrooms. And going to dance clubs where young 20 something hipsters danced and primped and took photos of each other for their my-space accounts. It's a conversation I kept quiet through simply because I thought the tone of the whole conversation was judgmental and I found it irritating. It occurred to me though, while listening to these 30 something women talk about being "too old" for one thing or another, that I never wanted to be too old for anything. The fact of the matter is, it's got nothing to do with age, and everything to do with state of mind. I want to be that 80 year old woman who still shakes her booty to Duran Duran, still drinks cocktails, and still wears her hair in long braids. I know that we all age, hell I've got a chiropractor bill to show for it, but that doesn't mean we have to start acting old. My father is 50+ and can party any of you under the table and dammit I will uphold the family name in that regard. He also says that "growing old is a privilege" and it's only this past year or so that I truly understand what that means. So be thankful that you're celebrating that birthday and tacking another year onto that number because the alternative is decidedly less glamorous. And if you're so worried about becoming old or older, than start being young again, lose those extra pounds, take out that red lipstick from deep in the makeup drawer, and put on those heels, because dammit, you're not too old until you're dead. And then, who really gives a fuck.
i am personally thrilled to be 31. it rocks. i can stay out late all night and no one can tell me to come home. if i want to cut loose and play hookie from work and spend all day in central park, the only one i have to hold accountable is me. i also can stay in and enjoy an evening with my guy without the pressure to go out and paint the town. 31 is glamorous and hot. and my favorite lipstick is "carnal" ;)
And this is why we're friends. We'll decorate our walkers with pink sparkly streamers, together.
We must change, I can't drink a square Jack all by myself anymore, anyone want to help me.
56 years and counting
I have given up all but a few vices from college, Nelson and smoking, which make me feel quite young still. Not to say I don't already spend of fortune on facial care products, but we all ahve to feel good.
You used too many likes. Being judgmental is just fine in my book and it is a form of witty conversation.Also, if being "too old" means caring about that swollen liver you are still abusing like a college student and having some respect for your body and treating it well instead of being partied under the table by some drunk ,then sign me up
jaded city wrote:
bless you. today is my birthday and I tip my beer can to you!
I suppose the point of this post wasn't to say that to feel young under the weight of age means that one must continue to abuse ones body with alcohol and other such substances, but rather that as people age they become less likely to continue to be young in spirit.
Three "likes" were used. Hardly too many given the length of the post.
Constant Dater wrote:
I was just surprised that people still drank Cosmopolitans . . .
Young at Heart wrote:
Yeah, "Young at Heart" probably makes it sound like I'm in my 70s, when actually I'm pushing 28, but that's the best name i could come up with on short notice. The point is that I really enjoyed this post! I've often grown tired of listening to people whine about "those damned kids" and things like that. Sure, as we progress through life, our likes can change, but that doesn't mean you have to stop having fun. My mom is in her mid-50s and is one of the youngest people I know. As far as I'm concerned, it's your life and you can live it as you choose.
I hate the overuse of the word like. I don't see that here though. The "fag hag meets Paris Hilton" overuse of "like" has birthed 30million copycats who intersperse ever sentence with an incorrect usage of "like". You don't abuse the word here though, not sure what, like, this guy means.
As for 40 being the new 30...at each major number I feel as though it's still cool. 40 is still cool...but 20 years ago 40 was over the hill. It's one thing we have to thank Hollywood for perhaps. I still wear ripped jeans and Ts wherever I go and don't get a single disapproving look. If my 40 yr old high school teacher had done that back in the day he would have been laughed out of school. Times they are a changin.
Keep on keepin on.