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My birthday is soon, The Birthday, and if I were a Friend's episode it would be called "The One Where Heather Gets Old". That's right girls and boys, it's the big 3-0 here to represent, um, oldness. To be perfectly honest though, I'm actually looking forward to it (!). Though my 20's were terrific I feel ready now to embrace the next decade of adulthood and all the newness that it may offer. Silver hair, owning a house or a business, maybe finally learning how to play piano or to speak another language, maybe I'll make it a personal goal to bench press a Honda, who knows! The world is my (nasty fish smelling) oyster. Of course there's still the fact that I read comic books, play video games, watch horror movies, drink my weight in wine, and swear like a sailor, but hell, that just makes it all the more cooler that I'm turning 30 with my internal 13-year old boy intact. Yes, I said boy. An alcoholic, cussing, penchant for violence teenage boy, what of it?

So what will I be doing with my big fat birthday you ask? I have no idea. Not a clue. Maybe sink down to the bottom of the ocean and see if I can swim myself to the surface before I drown. That sounds fun. Or maybe I'll play hide and seek with a grizzly bear and a can of mace. Or, maybe I'll spend the entire day in bed under the covers with Archie comic books, a dozen donuts, and a vat of coffee. That's right, a vat, because that's how I roll. And what do I want for my birthday? Oh, you really shouldn't get me anything, but since you ask... I wouldn't mind a pair of roller skates, old school style with the break in the front, a fat bulldog dyed blue, a nice treadmill, a paddle with spikes, some diamond stud earrings, an interview with the Cloverfield monster, a trip to Russia, the complete Ally McBeal series on DVD (yes I know it's only available in Europe, it's okay, our DVD player is region free!), a Chihuahua names Carlos, old Joni Mitchell albums, every David Bowie album that I don't own, an entire new wardrobe complete with designer jeans, and a rocket launcher. Now, I know it's not much, but it'll get you started.

Posted 4.24.2008 11:37:17 PM

Replies
OG wrote:
you'll need to be a little clearer here if you want any of this stuff. for example What size shoe are you, french or English bulldog(periwinkle midnight navy?), What is your idea of a nice treadmill (I personally hate every tread mill I have come into contacte with but that's because we don't see eye-to-eye on politics), Steel spikes or carbon filament (are you going for visual impact or swining speed), how many karats are you going for tasteful or "dear god woman I hope you're insured",do you mean the huge monster or the insane person who could barely hold the camera (made me sick but I LOVED it), Are we talking old russia or new crappier Russia (go with Latvia I hear the beer there flows like water) how many times does the dog need to be called Carlos? Would once be enough? Does Joni have anythign that would qualify as new? and are you looking Ground-to-Air, ground-to-ground, heatseeking, laser guided or those funky ones that shoot disco light out the back? start with the shoe size. . .
Posted 4/27/2008 5:24:44 PM
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