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What's she cleaning up there?   —   The Social Experience

Our upstairs neighbor recently added a woman to his apartment. I state it this way because a.) I never see them together, and b.) she's always home. How do I know she's always home? Because the woman vacuums like rabbits fuck, constantly. She's vacuuming now, as I type this. She was vacuuming last night from 11:30PM until close to 1:00AM. In fact, this lunatic woman has vacuumed every single day for the past two weeks, some days, nae, most days, she vacuums two to three times a day. What the fuck is she vacuuming up there? Does the man who lives upstairs not find this behavior odd? Why doesn't he try to stop it? Why doesn't he tell the bitch to just put down the god dammed vacuum cleaner? I'm so tempted to march right up there, knock on the door, and say to the woman, "So, what's up with the nonstop vacuuming crazy bitch?" I mean, what the hell could it be other than a medical condition of the crazies? I feel like Tom Waits in that song...

Posted 5.7.2008 1:38:28 PM

Sam wrote:
Sounds like she's using the effectively loud vacuum to cover up something else...coitus, maybe?
Posted 5/8/2008 8:48:09 AM
Charlie wrote:
Sam makes a great point. Actually, and as ridiculous as it sounds, running vacuum cleaners are a well-known staple of the mafia when conducting/discussing discrete business matters in an apartment building. So while you think she's up there OCD'ing over Ritz crumbs, she just might actually be giving Mickey Cupcakes the what-fer.
Posted 5/8/2008 1:39:32 PM
Doll wrote:
That's just ridiculous. It's not like the walls are paper thin and we can hear people farting. In fact, the vacuuming and the occasional dog bark is the only thing we usually hear. Besides, the vacuum cleaner isn't just on, it's being pushed all over the apartment, AND, he has teenage boys that he shares custody of and they're over a lot of the time too.
Posted 5/8/2008 2:29:34 PM
Mr. Space wrote:
Maybe there's so much coitus that it needs just that much cleaning up afterwards. Perhaps they beat each other with baguettes before sex. Weirder things have happened.
Posted 5/9/2008 10:09:39 AM
Doll wrote:
You guys are giving this guy a lot of stud credit. He's got a comb-over for christ sake.
Posted 5/9/2008 10:14:24 AM
VBOT wrote:
i have a friend whose Mom couldn't sleep without a vacuum running. she would bring them into the bedroom and let them run all night. they would burn out regularly and replacements were bought at local garage sales. perhaps the lady upstairs doesn't want to hear other noises and prefers a hoover over a white noise machine?
Posted 5/10/2008 8:17:42 PM
tdc wrote:
maybe she has vacuums for feet and shes just up pacing waiting for her man to come home to beat her with a baguette
Posted 5/11/2008 12:06:13 PM

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