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My forever boyfriend.   —   Notes from a Marriage

Apparently I don't appear to be the marrying type. Maybe I look too young (hello gray hair, oh look, you brought friends), or maybe my soul-sucking stare (hi Greg!) lets people know I won't take their shit, but whatever it is people can't seem to get it right and Adam remains my boyfriend in the eyes of the world. It happened again just this morning while I'm laying on my stomach at the chiropractors office, black pantied ass poking through the fabric gown that opens at the back, the chiropractor's assistant asked me something about my boyfriend. Perhaps I corrected her a little too quickly, "He's my husband", because she immediately apologized and corrected herself. Thing is, she's done it before. So has the chiropractor. So have two of my bosses. People at the comic shop. And multiple friends. I correct them and they apologize and correct themselves and rinse repeat. I don't know why it bothers me so much, maybe it's because I don't feel like people are paying attention and the words that I speak end up sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher, "Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah". Or maybe those cold words that someone once spoke to me, "You will die alone..." still elicit an inward flinch. I think I'll just make some business cards that say, "He's my husband" and hand them out randomly, start the buzz going, so when I run into people at the super market they'll just say "Word on the street is, he's your husband" and I'll wink and pat them on the ass and say, "Yeah, but I'm still open for business." Hm, no wonder people get it wrong all the time. I'm kind of inappropriate.

Posted 8.6.2008 3:37:06 PM

Mr. Space wrote:
I'm sorry, did you say something after "black panties"? Guess I'm inappropriate too. Don't tell your boyfriend :P
Posted 8/8/2008 9:49:34 AM - Mr. Space's website
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