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Life in a can.   —   The Social Experience

Last night I cooked. Now, I know I often say things like, "I don't cook", and then when I actually do cook the people who eat the food often say things like, "This is really good, see, you can cook!" But note that I never say that I can't cook, I just say that I don't cook, because what I am to cooking is what most people are to cleaning, they just don't enjoy it and therefore don't do it. And if it weren't for frozen foods, canned foods, and take-out, (and the husband), I would probably never eat. I would gradually waste away and eventually remember that there was something that I was supposed to be doing, what's that thing, oh yes, eating. And then I would go out on the street corner and beg/pay someone to come inside and cook for me so that I could live another day.

But last night I had company, though this particular company is becoming less and less like company and more and more like just another addition to our apartment. Much like when Todd or Ethan would come over for the bazzilionth time and we would only notice because someone would be bitching about how hot we keep our apartment and we would then follow the sound of the voice to a body sleeping on the couch. Only this one doesn't smell bad and looks good in a dress. So last night Girlfriend came over to kill zombies with me and I made one of the five dishes that I know how to make (chicken tarragon) and even that was really only because I'd finally gone grocery shopping after more than a month of living off of take-out and frozen foods. Girlfriend opened the fridge and said, "Oh my god, there's actually food in here, I don't know what to do with this", to which I responded, "Believe me, I don't know what to do with it either." But she helped make dinner, cooking the rice (from a box) and the green beans (from a can) and I have to tell you it was refreshing to see someone more foreign to a kitchen than I. Because if it has more than two steps to go from uneatable to eatable, I'm not interested. Only for company will I put forth the effort to cook and even then sometimes I just can't muster the motivation and pay for Thai food instead. Here's hoping to live long enough to see a food replicator created and installed in to every home. Then at least I won't have to cross the street to get my Thai food.

Posted 9.17.2008 3:59:24 PM

Replies
N@ wrote:
I have been reduced to Girlfriend. *sigh*
So yeah. I'm generally helpless in the kitchen, much for the same reasons you are. If I want to cook something, then I can, and it's generally edible. But I don't WANT to most of the time. Why, when there are comic books to read and movies to watch and games to play....and a whole city out there besides? I mean, aren't there better, more imaginative chefs in restaurants a plenty out there waiting for me to help them make a living? Most of them LIKE to cook, so I say let 'em!
SO, yeah. Your chicken is awesome. But you don't need to cook for me ever again if you like, I've all ready been impressed. Boyfriend is gearing up for a little Mexican food feasting at our place, so bring your husband and your hunger. I promise to be nowhere near the stove his time (I will be blending!!!).
Posted 9/18/2008 5:03:06 PM
Doll wrote:
Reduced to Girlfriend? Hm, reduced from what?! And considering you're the only one currently holding that title ... god, I need more friends. Wait, what am I saying? I don't like people! I think I've gotten off topic. Food, bad! Girlfriend, good! There. Fixed.
Posted 9/18/2008 5:12:24 PM
King Husband wrote:
How about "fellow divine Queen"?

We can all be royalty.
Posted 9/19/2008 1:09:46 PM - King Husband's website
N@ wrote:
Reduced from "bubbly blonde". lol
I like the royalty idea.
But girlfriend is good, too. I just like to complain.
Posted 9/26/2008 1:56:53 PM
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