Hitting the RESET button. — Personal
Adam and I signed papers last night terminating our offer on the house. This concludes our 37 day struggle with trying to buy a house that we so aptly named The Prospect. After the shit-storm of problems and issues The Prospect rained on us, it wasn't until the evil corporate giant known as Bank of America, denied us our loan, that things really started looking bleak. BoA denied us the loan because the appraiser they assigned to do the appraisal refused to appraise the house based on some neighborhood zoning that he just didn't like. Of course, this all comes in the eleventh hour, literally days before we're supposed to close on the house, and I discover later that appraisals are generally supposed to be done within the first week of applying for a loan. Thanks Bank of America! I love the way you shove that red hot poker up my ass, it feels SO GOOD the way it burns my insides and sets fire to my soul. So, I call another bank, a local credit union, and I speak with the mortgage officer and she essentially says that if BoA's appraiser says NO, she doesn't believe that their appraiser would say any differently but we could try if we wanted. I then call my broker, crying, she scrambles around and digs up the name of someone she knows that can help. For the next week I work with her contact, a nice man at a local place, we apply for the loan and he sends his appraiser out to the house. On Tuesday we get a call saying the appraiser doesn't see a problem with the zoning or the house and that he'll be able to make a case to the lender when the time comes. Wait, aren't you the lender? I guess through my frantic grasping and clawing and crying and hoping I didn't bother to ask, who are you again? Ahhhh, you're a mortgage broker and you want a few thousand dollars from us to make this loan happen. That's when I broke. I gave up. I gave in. I said NO MORE. I had only found out about a week ago that Adam, my beloved husband, never thought this house was The House. It was good enough, it was acceptable, but he never got that feeling that said This Is The One. So I knew that I was really the only one holding on to this place tooth and nail. He was just being supportive. I spent most of Tuesday in bed with horrible cramps, crying over my decision to let the house go, avoiding calls from my broker and the mortgage broker and waiting for Adam to get home so I could tell him that I thought we should just STOP.
Thankfully, he agreed to make all of the phone calls telling people we were backing out. I really don't think I could have kept my shit together long enough to make those calls and honestly I was a little scared that I could have been easily talked back into trying for the loan again. But after everything that's happened with this place, and after learning Adam's true feelings regarding the house, I do feel like it was the right choice. It may not have been Our House. But it was certainly My House. And while I've cried over this whole ordeal many times, and every day since Tuesday, I will not cry about it anymore. I'm hitting my RESET button. I live in Portland, my very favorite city in all of the country, I have a terrific marriage to a wonderful man, I have an awesome apartment on Hawthorne (one of the best locations in Portland) and I have two animals that make me laugh and smile every day. And to top it off a lady told me today that I was the most beautiful woman she's ever seen in Portland. If a stranger-lady says so it must be true! Things are looking up. So the sadness and frustration that I've carried with me over this whole house hunting / house buying ordeal is officially over. Bigger and better things lay ahead for me, I have two stories that I'm writing, Halloween is next week (!), and I'm so excited over the books and comic books in my To Read pile that I get giddy just thinking about them. It's going to be a great winter filled with good stories, warm fires, lots of lovin', and hopefully a snow storm or two. Cheers to that.
Boo to snow storms.
I sometimes wish I lived in the Portland you live in.
I'm glad you're ok. I definitely see ponies in pools in your future.
My darling, one adage I have always lived by is: if it is meant to be it will happen. We have talked about that before and sometimes we can't see the forest from the trees. Oregon Rd. was a perfect example of all that.
So kick back and wait, enjoy your digs, the right house will pop into your life when you least expect it. You fought the good fight and you know how to win the next battle. " You are waiting to jump"
It's always disappointing when something like this falls through, especially when you have your heart set on it. But as your Dad says, if it fell apart, that means it wasn't meant to be. The only thing worse than not reaching a goal is reaching a goal that isn't all it's cracked up to be. You guys will pull through better for the experience, and you'll be much more informed home-buyers when the time comes.
And kudos on sniffing out the mortgage broker and not getting yourselves on the hook for more cash when that wasn't how you wanted to go about it. So many home-owning disasters of the past few years were made possible because most people responded to the parade of hand-shakers and phone-callers in the home-buying process with, "Okay, if you say so." The presence of mind to scrutinize each step and each instruction may seem like a no-brainer, but it's a more rare and valuable asset than you might expect.
As a tribute to the freedom of renting, you should go to work tomorrow with all the faucets running in your apartment and be all, "Water's still free, bitch-ass motherfuckers!" (Or "itch-rash brother-huggers" if any kids are around.)
Sorry to hear about this miss. I mentioned to Adam that I've been through the same thing for the past year and a half with the first deal falling through. After pulling myself back together I went at it again and just closed and moved into my new place a few weeks ago. It's a way better deal and a sweet place. Take a break and start looking again next year. Best wishes.
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