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You've gone away again.   —   Personal

The last time we spoke you sounded upset.

You've gone away again and I've lost you in the void that is everywhere but here. Your mailbox is full, it's always full, and I haven't tried to call you but I never do. It's better here I think, on the computer, it's less awkward and more meaningful somehow. Existing in each other's mind the way we were years ago, frozen in time. I can imagine the parts where you laugh at what I say, and the small rise of your voice that almost sounds like hope but sometimes I know better. On the phone though, your voice sounds too empty. It scares me to think that you're like an hourglass that's turned upside down, just waiting to be turned over again so you can feel full.

But I miss you, I always do, and when I pour myself my morning coffee in the poorly lit office space that passes as a kitchen around here, I think of you still, when all those years ago you'd be sitting at your desk and you'd turn around and smirk at me as I'd sway by your door to pour myself my morning coffee. I lived for that smirk, and you lived for my sway.

Just drop by, and say hello.

Posted 4.27.2004

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